I don't know how people do it...

I have friends who have cans or bags of potatoe chips, a stash of sweets, or a chocolate bar at there disposal. They're able to nibble at it, put it away, and return to it whenever they want.

I'm not of that type. That is why I hardly buy any packaged snacks. I went to Fresh & Easy yesterday and bought a bag of Tomato Basil Veggie Crisps, Honey Glazed Pretzel Bits, and these Baked Sunflower Seed & Coco Flake bits. My problem is... Once I open a bag, I have the need to finish them off that day.

*sigh*

What am I doing?

It's a bit comic that we tend to abuse or neglect every indication of what our body and/or mind is telling us. Last week was a hectic, crazy, annoying, and unbelievably irritating schedule for me. I probably got a total of 15 hours of sleep that week (3 - 4 hours of sleep every night). One can imagine how irritated a person can get when they're hanging by a thread. I was not in a mood to talk and I admit that I was a bit snappy. I didn't want to make conversation with anyone and I the days grew restless. When I thought I was done, more changes and more additions were piled onto the project. The project launched, but it's far from done. This week is a continuation of last week, but at a much more slower pace.

I hardly had an appetite last week and I was downing major cups of coffee. After weening myself off and drinking 3 cups at most a day, I'm back to drinking 6 cups of coffee. I've been trying to get back on my healthy eating regime, but I'm sneaking and snacking on an extra amount of carbs and sugar. I'll have a piece of wheat bread (or two) with a slab of peanut butter and a spoonful of nutella after a nice green lunch. Then I'll continue to snack on the same thing after dinner, except multiply that by two or three.

I always try to find balance or an offset. I've slowly been getting into my workout regime, but my body hasn't taken it lightly. I bought new shoes, but my feet hate them. My shins act up when I walk up hill and my calves and hips hate me when I try to run. I have no lift or energy, that when I run my feet drag and make that scraping noise.

And at the end of the day... when my body is clearly telling me: WE'RE EXHAUSTED. WE'RE HUNGRY. WE'RE IN NEED OF A GOOD AMOUNT OF SLEEP. WE NEED REST! Yet, I neglect the signs. I don't listen to the cries and I drone on scouring the internet for mindless reading and/or visual material. My eyes want to shut, while my mind doesn't want to do any thinking. Yet... I refuse to go to sleep for no other reason than not wanting to call it quits.

I think this is a start. Whether I get 4 or 8 hours of sleep, it means nothing if I go to sleep with this "unwilling" feeling. This is a start... by relieving, exercising, and venting out my thoughts... I'm clearing out my mind and making room for better thoughts and feelings in the morning.

Nema & MoniqueS

I'd like to say thanks for the support and comments you left me on my previous post. I admit, I had a bit of a weird brake down. I went to bed feeling frightened when I encountered that bald spot on my head. Looking back at the event now, it's funny and very irrational thinking on my part. Yes, I'm at that age where I'm sure my hair will start to recede. Yes, I probably was in a stressfull mode to where hair has been falling out morethan usual. Yes, it really did effect how I thought and felt. And yes, I guess I do value my hair, my youth, my immortaility.

After having days to mull it over. After having my sister look at the spot and tell me it looks like a "scalp and skin" problem rather than a balding problem. After reading your comments.... I felt that reassurance and calmness that I wish I had to begin with.

With all that being said.. Again... Thanks for those comments. It helped put any irrational thoughts at ease and at bay.