I'm not a stranger to blogging, yet I have an unbelievably hard time staying committed. I allow myself to get frustrated and veer off course. I tend to drift away and start new profiles/blogs elsewhere. If I could keep track and remember all the blog communities I've joined, there would be a long list. I've created profiles that were meant to blog about relationships, self-improvement, struggling as a designer, struggling as an artist, and I might have even done a finance blog.
I've done a great deal of browsing around, reading, replying, and most importantly... just learning. If I were to compare myself to others in the SA community, I seem to have approached SA from a different angle. I know I'm not alone, however it seems many involved in the community started there journey through web forums, posting, replying on threads, and blogging.
In my case, it never dawned on me to join a forum or to even blog about my struggles. In my journey, I googled "shyness" and ran across videos. I started to search and dig around and found very inspiring vlogs on youtube. I subscribed to many SA Vloggers and followed them on their journey while I started my own. I read up on SAD and kept a notebook of my own. I got myself a copy of "Overcoming Social Anxiety:Step by Step - by Dr. Thomas A. Richards" and I'm currently following the audio sessions. Information is power. As I learned more and started to apply what I've learned, I felt confident enough to start my own Vlogs. That's where I've been ever since my journey to recovery started. It wasn't until last week that I stumbled upon this great community along with the great resources available.
I'm not sure where I'll take my blog entries. I don't want the entries to only fixate on SA, but rather express my thoughts and life experiences (whether it deals with SA or not). I really hope I don't get discouraged just because I might go off tangent or find myself not sticking to the script. That's the only thing that I can see stunting my momentum.
With all that being said and no pressure on myself, here is where my blog begins.
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About Myself
*This was originally posted on SAS Forum and might refer to posts, threads, replies, blogs on that site.
I didn't wan't to write a long drawn out blog in one sitting, nor do I want to repeat what I've already posted. Last week was the first time I participated on the SAS forum. I posted my Introduction to SAS here: My Introduction to SAS. I also use YouTube to vent out and record my progress/setbacks.
For starters, I turned 28 last year and I started to dig around and research Social Anxiety. Looking back at it, I think it had a lot to do with getting older and being single. Having aunts and uncles (even my parents) at every gathering, asking me why I'm still single every time just wore me down a tad bit. The more frequent this happened, the more I found myself unable to respond back in a nonchalant demeanor. Nowadays, I now find myself more calmer about my age and my status as a bachelor. However, that could be a result of all the M.I.A. (Missing In Action) I've been doing.
Speaking rationally, I don't think people would pin me down as a person struggling with social anxiety. They might find me shy and quiet, but I wouldn't think they see me struggling with a disorder or a phobia. However, in the last 3 or 4 years my struggle seemed to have a life of it's own. In the workplace, I found myself with a mush mouth. I struggled to get words out, because I focused so much on getting the correct words out. I wanted to be precise and clear, yet I fumbled every word. I just remember how I would be in mid-sentence and just ending it, because I couldn't get the right word out. I started to wear reading glasses in the office and got braces put on my teeth. I actually thought it was kind of a "geeky" cool steez (style) on me and made me look like a 16 year old again. However, if you can imagine, this heightened my self-consciousness. I've always struggled with my weight as well. I know that I'm no where near my heaviest weight, yet I'm never satisfied and I always see that chubby kid in me. All of the situations mentioned have helped contribute to my Social Anxiety. I thought about listing experiences as a kid, but I think that is better left off for another time.
With all that being said, I do have a positive outlook. Shy and timid, I'm still a nice and likable person. I feel I've made significant progress in the past 8 months. I'm open to more progress and hope to keep on truckin'. I look forward to this journey I've been on and I'm always happy to see others truckin' along as well.
