I Needed Tonight to Happen

Please excuse my freewriting. I know if I don't write my thoughts out tonight, I will most likely neglect and lose them.

I really did need tonight's event to happen. After a tumultuous-anxiety-driven week, I really needed a good night to send me off right into the holidays. After concluding my second therapy session and feeling relaxed accompanied by an unexpected panic attack at the grocery store... Or after having much anticipatory anxiety building for a freelance assignment.. I managed to make it through, but feel a bit battered.

My sister invited me for dinner at another tofu house. Yet, I can only recall the last time I went with my sister and brother in-law and remember breaking into sweat and feeling claustrophobic. I dealt with my irrational fears and dealt with the thoughts.

We got into the restaurant. We were seated near a very loud and big group and a very small group on the other side. It was daunting, but I was okay. I didn't wear no hat. My head and face was exposed and any physical panic symptoms I have could be seen. I managed to keep calm. I tried to enjoy the night, not really think about it and when I did feel a bit warm, I just slowed myself down.

On the drive back home, I thought to myself... I really needed this night. I really needed to have a good, positive event to send me off into the holiday's and the rest of the weekend.

I'm feeling better. I wish everyone a happy holiday and a happy new year.