What Happened to My Charisma?

Tonight I followed a tweet that caught my eye: "The Secret of Bill Clinton's Charisma"

It lead me to an article, How It Works: Clinton's "Reality Distortion Field" Charisma, written by Tim Ferriss that I found fascinating. Before I go on and write about this topic, let me preface this article by saying I have somewhat of a "man crush" for Bill Clinton. What I mean by that is, he is a person that has certain qualities that I'd love to have or develop. Back to what I was saying, this article was very fascinating. It list 3 main tips for a guy to develop these gentlemen-like skills.



1. Practice Brief Eye Contact with Strangers
Being a person who struggles with social anxiety, at times, that this can be daunting. I have my off days, and I have my days where it seems to happen organically. I'm able to do this on my running route. I'll come across lovely ladies and for a brief moment, eye contact is made. A feeling of "acknowledgement" is made and I continue with the run without feeling like I came across as a creep.

2. Learn the Art of Personal Space
In my "college" and early "workplace" years, this somewhat came naturally to me. I respected everyone's space and I'm able to read everyone's body language pretty well. Only problem I have is that I become to self-conscious and freak out about how I might come off to other people. However, in most cases, I know how to give a person a pat on the back, when to give a hug, when to hand shake, when to rub elbows, and when to give personal space and not invade theres.

3. Practice Being Present
This is a very important point that the article points out. I'm guilty of "not being present" at times, especially when I'm occupied with social anxiety. When talking with a person, you do need to be "present". Show interest and be "involved" in the moment that is being shared.

Here's something that the article pointed out: "Three minutes of staring into someone’s eyes tells you more about them than ten minutes of talking."

I find this to be very true. While reading the entire article, I found myself searching for Bill Clinton Interviews. I spent a good hour just watching the man talk. Whether you hate or love him, he has a certain charisma. He knows how relate with you or to make you feel at ease.

Reading articles like this reminds me of the younger person I use to be and the personality I think I still have. I know I've been hidden for awhile, but I also know I do have certain qualities that people either relate to or are attracted to. The only problem with me is that I don't expose myself enough to the outside world. It's hard, but it's (I am) a work in progress.