I'm ending my day/night, which is in the early morning with my time spent collecting my thoughts. I've been busy and quite productive today. I'm not sure in what aspect, but in thinking, and verbally and comprehensively expressing myself… I'd say I've been very productive. I've been able two work more of my frustrations out in the last 4 hours than the entire past weeks.
I'm easily distracted or I've been allowing myself to be distracted during the past few weeks. It wasn't fun. It took me awhile to finally realize and recognized what I've been doing. Self-sabotage. I allow one small thing to effect my emotions and I crumble. I take part in self sabotage.
Finances. I'm pretty secure where I'm currently standing, but living paycheck to paycheck is still no fun. I have income waiting to be received, yet living as a freelance web designer is still "trying". I have to send out another email to my one and only main client that I haven't received payment for one invoice which is nearly 2 months old now and that another invoice is due soon. I get frustrated. I do see how my emotions and actions are affected/effected. I can be in a good mood when I get paid and I'm more motivated. When weeks and even a month pass and I get no paycheck.. My mood is in deep doo doo. I tend to be in seclusion and I won't go out and I'm unmotivated to train or workout.
Writing and venting has slowly but surely helped me work through my issues. Through my frustration and through my… through my mind. I don't know where I was going with that, but it just helps to type freely and express whatever comes to mind or whatever or wherever my mind is taking me. I've been sleeping at really late hours lately. I've also been ……
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