Earlier this week, I came back from a weekend getaway in Las Vegas for my friend's Bachelor's Party weekend. When I arrived back home, I couldn't shake off the feeling of irritation and being somewhat hostile. I don't act out my aggression and I can recognize that I'm a bit passive aggressive. I tend to do things indirectly to point out that I'm not happy. Whether it's being short with answers or putting up a wall and closing a healthy line of communication. I think from past experience, I don't like making a scene and I don't like making things publicly awkward (meaning, I keep a lot of things inside and built up). I avoid confrontation, which I know can blow up in my face. I also try to avoid saying anything, (probably because I hate the attention I get when I talk), because it's likely over something stupid. The main reason I was upset, which I kept running in my head, was due to trash. I just started to feel like I was the only one doing the daily chores and because I work from home that I can easily do the small chores around the apartment. The more I looked at it, it had to do a lot with being cramped and trapped inside my room. When I say trapped, I mean I tend to trap my self. I work an entire day in my room and I only go out to walk the dog or for my daily jog. I hardly spend time in the living room area and I've been eating in my room a lot lately.
All of this came to an end late in the week, which I'm glad it did. I made a video blog about my frustrations and most of my irritated and aggravated state was lifted. I felt more at ease that I expressed myself, even if it was through a different venue, and I allowed myself to remove the wall and be more open to small talk. I ended up making small talk and had a conversation with my brother in law. I was more attentive towards my sister when I would talk to her. I just feel better as a whole. I think trapping myself in my room can be bad and I'm glad I got myself out of that funk.
Also, I've been working on my friend's (the couple getting married) wedding slideshow. I am actually happy with what I've produced so far. They love it as well. The music and photo transitions really work well with each other. I've been presenting them with video preview links and taking in all there request and fitting it into what I've created. Just yesterday, I met up with the soon to be married couple along with the groom's (he's been a friend since college) friend's (all married and have kids already). I noticed the small things, like the wife to be is still the same. Always angry or irritated and in need of a way to vent. Nothing's change and I think everyone going to the wedding is looking forward to the wedding other then the wife to be. It's a weird dynamic and I really think the wife to be will be miserable no matter what until she works on herself. My friend is a good guy and he willingly takes all the blame, aggression, and negative remarks from her. I don't get it, but he does and he loves her. She see's it, but can't help it. Fast forward to this morning… I received a txt message from her and it said "Don't worry about the slideshow anymore, the wedding is off!"
It sounds typical and in a way… I think she wanted me to get involved and talk her down the ledge. I don't know what to say or what to do. I haven't even messaged my friend yet about it. I only messaged my friend's friend to find out if anything happened after our outing. Apparently, she was upset or allowed things to build up and her frustrations against my friend got out of hand. True, after the dinner the girls were suppose to go out and hang out together. However, they stayed at a friends.. drank wine… and had the kids, while the guys took my friend out for another hoorah of drinks (which apparently were at another gentlemen's club). Nothing crazy, it was really just more about drinking and bullsh*tting with the fellas.
From what I heard, she was fed up with him not helping out with the wedding. Also with him not helping with daily chores or daily things. His side of the guest list was unorganized. I know from first hand how stressful wedding planning is. I know the aggravation and the horrible angry feelings it brings out in a person. So.. yes I can see where she's coming from and she's right. But on the other hand, that's just how my friend is and that's how he's always been. She's been with him for how long and has he ever changed his demeanor? Not only that, if he does help out or is more hands-on… that leaves him to be criticized and she'll still be upset at him for not doing things right.
Sooo.. I really don't know if the wedding is really off or not. I think everyone going, including myself, believes things will blow over and things will continue as planned. I really hope its still happening, because I have plane tickets and hotel reservations already planned. I fly out Wednesday and I'm waiting for an official phone call rather than a text message and FaceBook status update.
Here's to marriage and the happiness it brings.
Peace & Love,
Mr Shy & Timid
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