Reflecting on my Las Vegas Trip (Part 1)

I would like to preface my next entries involving my Las Vegas Trip that I had a fun experience overall. Like any other entry, I tend to pick out the negatives rather than promoting the positives. This is how I tend to resolve and workout my thoughts.

I understand myself and I know how uncomfortable I can get under certain situations. I tend to focus on my inability to completely let loose and enjoy the moment while it lasts (without the help of alcohol).

The Gift Shop
There was an incident early in the evening that made me feel uncomfortable. My best friend and I walk into a souvenir shop. His brother shops around for souvenirs to buy, while my friend ends up chatting with an employee. He's good at making small talk and is a natural at being social. In front of me, I witness my friend playfully asking a series of questions to the girl (employee). Within a few seconds, I knew what he was doing and I started to feel flush. Yes, I handled it better then last time (4 years ago, when I actually walked out on him for doing something similar), because I stayed there and acted surprised and amused. He was just being friendly, but somewhat shining the light on me. He asked the employee if she had a boyfriend, then made a comment about having her help me find a nice girlfriend. At that point, if I wasn't brown, you would see how red my face was. I shyly giggled it off, but I can't deny the discomfort I felt.

Thoughts that ran in my head: You're making me look desperate. Am I a charity case? You're making me look like I put you up to it. You're not helping me. You're not looking out for me. Why do you think every girl that's my ethnicity is automatically my type? Why are you putting me in the spotlight for?

Strong feelings that are surging through me: Frustration, irritation, and embarrassment.

We make our way out and she said bids us good bye. She even smiles at me and tells me to have a good night. Shortly, my friend starts addressing the situation and is apologetic. I told him it's okay and to not worry about it. I didn't feel like having to relive the situation and having to discuss the incident during our whole cab drive back.

We get back to our room to take a nap before going out again. He later expresses his regrets about the incident earlier and keeps stating the fact "I did it again didn't I?" I told him it was okay, but I told him I didn't understand why he had to put me in the spotlight or why he had to do it right in front of me. At least talk me up a game when I'm not right in front of the person. I also told him, how that moment reminded me of what one of his law school friends did to me and how very awkward and uncomfortable it made me. Boys will be boys and friends will be friends. He got the picture; problem resolved.

We spend the next hour deciding on what we're going to do. We finally decide and so we're off to the next venue.