I'm nervous right now. I don't know what it is. Well I do know what it is, but I don't know how to explain it or process it. I woke up at 8:30'ish this morning. I'm trying to make it a habit. I'm trying to curb my late night sleeping habits.
I'm nervous. My heart is beating faster than usual. My appetite for food isn't there and my stomach is growling.
I had a few emails from yesterday that needed to be responded back to. I needed to take care of them. After waking up and doing a few article reading and browsing various websites, I moved into my room and tried doing work on the computer.
Email One: Reply back and let Recruiter know that I'm interested in the possible job opportunity. I asked about the tasks and requirements. I asked about location of the job, which is an important factor for me. I'm scared of the "big city" and so I tend to feel comfortable with familiar areas, even if it's a little further out towards the opposite direction of the bigger city. I email back and forth and I let her know I have something planned tomorrow and I'll be available next week. I don't have a set date yet, but looks like I'll be on a "try out" basis next week. That means, they ad agency will test me out and if they like me, i'll immediately get hired full time.
** end of 5 minutes **
It feels weird for me. I haven't worked in an office setting for about 8 month's now. I'm a bit hesitant and I am nervous. I don't know how to explain it. I don't have the nervousness of "anticipatory anxiety & panic". It's more of a nervousness I use to deal with during high school in college. The nervousness of finding your classes on campus on the first day. The nervousness where you skip breakfast and only have coffee and have no appetite while your stomach decides to growl. This is the nervousness that I thought was normal, in which I still believe it is. It's more tolerable for me.
Email Two: Reply back to web project inquiry. Person gives me an idea of what they need done. I emailed back and gave her a price quote—which I'm horrible at doing. I might feel I charged too little in the middle of working on the project, but I always feel like I charge too much at the beginning of the process—and informed them what would be included (i.e. sketches, production, digital files).
Email Three: Actual web project work. I need to upload a few images, run a few test, and make sure things are in place. It's an easy task, but I've been putting it off this morning.
*sigh*
Then there's my appointment tomorrow. I'm nervous about it. I'm already writing a script in my head of what I'll say, what examples I'll use, what symptoms I feel. Then I think about it... I think about it some more... I don't want to feel like I'm trying to describe everything so it will fit into a specific label (Social Anxiety). I want it to be organic and try to answer and open up as honestly as I can. Deciding whether to go into detail or generalize things is what I'm fussing over. I'm nervous...
Just got an email right now... It's been a busy two days filled with emails... I'll end it here.
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