Exposure - Saturday, July 10, 2010

A day after the engagement party I attended, I felt good. I felt accomplished and I was positive about running errands around town (back in my hometown). I ]planned on running to SaveMart to do some groceries and buy some strawberries at a local strawberry stand. I went in thinking of this experience as a challenge. I didn't have any "sweat" attacks. I was comfortable waiting in line when it was time to pay, and I felt comfortable asking questions about my strawberries when I went to the local fruit stand. I experienced success in that I didn't have many ANTs nor did I have to over-think the situation while experiencing it at the moment.

Later during the day, my dad wanted to join me and run errands. I wanted to buy some flowers at SaveMart, run by CVS (Pharmacy/Personal Care Store), and pick up dinner. I don't really have trouble making calls, especially if I'm prepared, but I admit I usually dread it. I placed an order for take-out at a Thai Food Restaurant with no problems. My pops and I headed into town and we arrived at SaveMart. 

I encountered a minor setback. I feel that because my dad was with me, I was a bit more self-conscious than usual. I allowed ANTs to run around in my head. I did encounter thoughts of "I think I just recognized someone. I think that person is looking at me. I don't want to make eye contact"

Success: I paid for the items without breaking into sweat. It wasn't till we walked out of the grocery market that I felt relieved and then I started to sweat. I feel it was due to the anxieties and the 95+ degree type weather outside.

Great, I let the thoughts of "sweating" enter my mind. My dad and I head to CVS. We enter the store, and they have fans running (instead of air conditioning) . My dad picks up an item and we go pay for it. I stood there waiting just looking around. I just started to feel warm and it didn't help that the weather was hot.

After that situation, it was time to pick-up the take-out food I ordered. I was more worried that I would have a "sweat" attack at the restaurant. My dad opted to stay in the car, and I went in by myself. I felt more comfortable. I entered the restaurant on my own with a few families inside having dinner. The waitress/hostess came by and I chatted a little and let her know I was there to pick up my order. I paid for the food and left. No sweat.

Later that night, I was declined an opportunity to go out and attend a night club/lounge just for a brief moment. I cancelled plans on it. I didn't feel ready or peppared. I felt like I took on many challenges that weekend already, so I didn't want to overwhelm myself. My friend invited me over for a bbq with his family instead. I was going to go, but I already planned dinner with my dad and so I passed up on that.

In the experiences mentioned above, I encountered success followed up with mini-setbacks. I felt good about going through the situations and I wasn't dwelling too much on the setbacks I had.