It's hard to let go. Let go of control. Let go of restrictions. Let go of fitting into a certain format. I started writing yesterday. I found myself trying to organize my writing and fit it in a chronological hierarchy. I ended up writing too much, in detail, about past weeks when I nearly wanted to make the point that I recognize certain patterns. I have the writing on a notepad, but I've become very unmotivated in finishing it. I also realize that I've neglected the magic of freewriting. No boundaries. No restrictions. No rules. No limits. I can change the topic without looking back or not. I'm not restricted to one point or another. It's a good way to vent and get ideas.
I woke up this morning feeling strung out. Strung out from a coffee binge. Control. I have a hard time with control. I either have too much control. Or I might become over-controlling in my routine, that I end up wanting to get away from what I was trying to control.
I'm trying to get back to where I was, but that can be difficult. Instead of trying to return to the same form, I probably should strive to progress and build from there. Set out for short term goals and eventually lead up to my bigger goals. It's hard. You tend to look back and get discouraged from any small occurences. I weighed-in yesterday and lost a pound. I weighed-in this morning and gained 3. This is what I mean with discouragements.
Music can be a game changer. The only problem for me is that I get tired of my music within days, because I have it on loop 24/7.
Current music on loop. Korean Pop Music.
"T.O.P - Turn It Up"
The song is hella swag and the video is swag on a hundred. I can't explain it, but it makes me feel like I'm exuding swag when dressing up. Hella swag.
If you like T.O.P - Turn it up, check out T.O.P and G-dragon's song called Knock Out they have much swag.....
ReplyDelete@nema - Korean POP is "hella" big. I know it might not be as popular in the US except in small communities across the country, but in ASIA... KPOP, JPOP and all that is big. I really didn't pay attention to it, but I was following one of my fav dance choreographers fromt he Bay Area (SF) and I find out he choreographed Taeyang, which lead me to BIG BANG and that's where I saw video's of TOP and G-D. You're right, that song is much swag. I like there vid's because. They are flashy and over the top, but they have very nice tailored suits that have substance and style.
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