Sunday, July 18, 2010

About Myself

*This was originally posted on SAS Forum and might refer to posts, threads, replies, blogs on that site.


I didn't wan't to write a long drawn out blog in one sitting, nor do I want to repeat what I've already posted. Last week was the first time I participated on the SAS forum. I posted my Introduction to SAS here: My Introduction to SAS. I also use YouTube to vent out and record my progress/setbacks.

For starters, I turned 28 last year and I started to dig around and research Social Anxiety. Looking back at it, I think it had a lot to do with getting older and being single. Having aunts and uncles (even my parents) at every gathering, asking me why I'm still single every time just wore me down a tad bit. The more frequent this happened, the more I found myself unable to respond back in a nonchalant demeanor. Nowadays, I now find myself more calmer about my age and my status as a bachelor. However, that could be a result of all the M.I.A. (Missing In Action) I've been doing.

Speaking rationally, I don't think people would pin me down as a person struggling with social anxiety. They might find me shy and quiet, but I wouldn't think they see me struggling with a disorder or a phobia. However, in the last 3 or 4 years my struggle seemed to have a life of it's own. In the workplace, I found myself with a mush mouth. I struggled to get words out, because I focused so much on getting the correct words out. I wanted to be precise and clear, yet I fumbled every word. I just remember how I would be in mid-sentence and just ending it, because I couldn't get the right word out. I started to wear reading glasses in the office and got braces put on my teeth. I actually thought it was kind of a "geeky" cool steez (style) on me and made me look like a 16 year old again. However, if you can imagine, this heightened my self-consciousness. I've always struggled with my weight as well. I know that I'm no where near my heaviest weight, yet I'm never satisfied and I always see that chubby kid in me. All of the situations mentioned have helped contribute to my Social Anxiety. I thought about listing experiences as a kid, but I think that is better left off for another time.

With all that being said, I do have a positive outlook. Shy and timid, I'm still a nice and likable person. I feel I've made significant progress in the past 8 months. I'm open to more progress and hope to keep on truckin'. I look forward to this journey I've been on and I'm always happy to see others truckin' along as well.

1 comment:

  1. I like you just the way you are, Mr. Shy & Timid. :)

    ReplyDelete