Over the past week/weekend, I've been having horrible sleeping patterns. As a result, I'm up right now. It's nearly 3 a.m. During the week, I've been good at waking up before 10 a.m. However, this weekend I've been waking up near noon and feel somewhat like shit because I've been in my room the whole weekend.
I also can't shake off this feeling of unease or worry. I'm anxious about...
Well, I guess it deals with therapy. I had my therapy last week. It was my initial visit and the doctor already scheduled the next appointment for Tuesday. I might have a possible freelance job this coming week and I'll have to work in-house. I'm not sure what day, but I'm afraid it conflicts with the therapy appointment. I also worry about the cost of therapy. I think about having to work. If I do start working full time, I wont be able to see my psychologist, because i will be working at a different location in another city. That's what all this nervousness and uneasiness is about.
Not to mention, I've been watching the show "In Treatment" (Season 1) and I have been so emotionaly involved in it. I cant believe how involved I am and how it has got me thinking and feeling. I guess I'll admit this here... I teared up a bit in one of the later episodes. It wasn't that I had experiences that I related to, but I really felt for the characters in the moment.
I also had this thought... or a realization. I realize that I feel uncomfortable when I'm put in charge or have to lead a group of people. I'm okay being independent and doing things on my own and making mistakes. But I feel uncomfortable when I have to take control and be responsible for more than myself... it's hard to swallow..
No comments:
Post a Comment