Tomorrow I have a Dentist appointment. It's one of those six month check-ups. I hardly have any trouble with the visits, but my last visit was a bit uncomfortable to say the least. After a year of convincing myself (or maybe I was faking my way into it), I told myself that I wasn't nervous or prone to a panic attack. This came a time when all I thought about was facial and armpit sweating when out in public.
I get to the dentist office, I'm laying down on the chair/bench and they're cleaning my teeth. My Dentist pauses and asked if I'm still drinking coffee. It was that moment, that exact moment, it made me so self-conscious. I giggled and laughed as it was humorous to me. However, I still took the question a bit too serious. It meant that the Dentist definitely noticed my coffee stained teeth. Even though it was all in joking manner, it made me very self-conscious and I fought hard to not break a sweat. That question initiated a mirage of questions of "Am I starting to sweat? Do I feel a sweat bead forming? Am I really freaking out right now?"
Shortly after that, I started to form sweat beads. I felt wave of panic and I started to feel flush. I excused myself and asked for a paper towel. They asked if I was okay and I explained that I was starting to sweat. They probably thought that they drilled or cleaned a little too close to my gums. At that moment, the Dentists says, "Oh, you are.... I didn't even notice."
That pointed out one important thing to me. That I was the only one focused on my sweating. Even if someone else noticed it, I was the one who put pressure on myself.
So with that being said. I absolutely have no anticipatory anxiety tonight. I'm actually going to bed early tonight, because I've been waking up at noon for the past few days and I really don't want to end up oversleeping or worse, missing my appointment.
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